Turning the Big 4-0
“Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.”
Every five years, I reflect on previous years’ goals and set new 5-year goals (CLICK HERE to read my blog post about The Power of Five: 35-40). Every five years, I experience a strange phenomenon - the juxtaposition of time. We all have experienced how the past can seem so distant and yet the present seems to quickly fly by - and at times, the past seems so recent, yet a single day can seem to drag on and on - especially in 2020.
I cannot believe that it has been five years since I stepped out of the formal classroom setting to pursue a call into ministry. It seems like just yesterday, I was leading a Drama classroom, directing and choreographing students in plays and musicals - so much fun! Yet, in the same breath, I cannot believe everything that has occurred in the past five years: I went to seminary in Philadelphia, CPE in Portland, and completed my internship in Milwaukee. I served a congregation in Kenosha, stepped back from ministry, and began the process of writing a book and becoming a national educational speaker. Now, in the final days of the past 5 years, I have a publisher, I have national speaking gigs, I have begun a new job as a summer camp director, and am preparing to move to Vermont - a long five years filled with excitement, challenges, and growth that paradoxically have flown by.
As I turn 40 on February 17th - it is time once again to reflect on past goals and set new goals.
REFLECTION OF MY 5-YEAR GOALS (35-40)
Family/Relationship: This is a comedic failure. My 5-year goal was to be open to a romantic relationship - that is to say, to give the time and energy needed to pursue a relationship and the openness required to embrace the opportunities that arose. Well, I didn’t. Every year, I moved to a new location. Every year brought school and career opportunities that kept me busy and demanded my time and energy. And for the past year, COVID has kept us all quarantined and I was not about to try quarantine dating - blah. So I am single. But don’t worry - I am happy being single. And I have lots of close friends and my family with whom to share my life. These past five years, I have traveled to spend time with my mom in North Carolina, to visit my brother and his family in Arizona, with classmates to Thailand and Indonesia, with college students to New Orleans, to trek Patagonia in Chile, to ski in CO, to visit St. Louis, and so much more. I know that these are not romantic relationships - but I am OK with that. Who knows what the next five years will bring?
Career: 0-2 - this is also a failed goal. Yikes! I guess making 5-year goals in the midst of life changes is bound to yield some challenges. In setting my goal, I admitted that I didn’t know what the future had in store. Half of a year into seminary, I wasn’t going to speculate where I was going to end up. But, I can assure you - I didn’t think that I would be a Camp Director of a YMCA boys camp in Vermont. Well, what can I say - if I am going to claim that I take risks and that I don’t fear failure, when the risk of changing careers leads me to desire something different, I need to be willing to step back, assess my decisions, and continue to move forward on a new path - even if it means failing to meet my 5-year career goal.
Health: Woo-hoo - a successful goal! I set a health goal to ride my road bike more and I certainly have. Thanks to a few Red Arrow Camp brothers, I have ridden my bike a lot in the Northwoods of Wisconsin. I have participated in several triathlons (kayak, cycle, run) and have even gone mountain biking a handful of times. My cycling has helped me mix up my workout routines and is truly something that I hope to continue in Vermont.
Finances: Boom! Another successful goal. As I began seminary five years ago, I was keenly aware of the amount of student loan debt that many students are forced to take on. Luckily, with savings, several financial gifts, a scholarship, and a financial award, I was able to graduate with my Master's without any debt - no savings either, but that’s not what this goal was about. Without debt, I was able to begin saving the past two years and will head to Vermont with enough to move, rent a nice apartment, and furnish my new home.
Spirituality: A goal to pray more - well, I did and I didn’t. This is kinda 50/50 success. Since four of the past five years were spent in ministry, I did a lot of praying. Praying is part of the job when one is a pastor - or in school to be a pastor. And I certainly grew in my ability to pray aloud and found meaning in the faith practice. However, in this past year away from ministry, I have not sustained a regular practice of prayer. This is not to say that I don’t talk to God or am unaware of God’s presence in my life, but a formal, intentional practice is not part of my daily routine. So - when prayer was part of my job, I prayed. Now that prayer is an optional practice - I have not prioritized it.
SETTING MY 5-YEAR GOALS (40-45)
Family/Relationship: As I move to a new state and begin a new job, you would think that my relationship goal would revolve around making new friends. But the truth is - I am not worried about new friends. Most people who know me, know that I make new friends pretty easily. I am confident that I will create new friendships in the coming years. My 5-year relational goal is going to be to maintain strong connections with my old friends. My best friends are important to me and I hope to be intentional with reaching out, making time to connect, and continuing to nurture our friendships even from afar. This goal will be challenging - but I hope in five years, I still have strong relationships with these wonderful people.
Career: Well, as I turn 40, I have a new job that is promising to be exactly where I am supposed to be, doing what I am passionate about. (CLICK HERE to learn more about this exciting, new adventure.) My goal for the next five years is pretty simple - DON’T GET A NEW JOB! In all seriousness, I want to give this wonderful opportunity as one of the directors of Camp Abnaki for boys a real chance - which means giving myself time to learn the ropes, build relationships, have an impact, and begin to put down roots. The past five years have been crazy - I want to intentionally settle into the next five years with a strong commitment to building a life in Vermont.
Health: This past year, in the time of COVID, I began and have maintained very healthy workout and eating habits. But this is actually nothing new - in my life, I have often begun these routines, but failed in my follow-through. My health goal for the next five years will be to maintain these healthy habits. I will run regularly, mix in HIIT/strength workouts at the gym, continue to intermittent fast, cook more meals at home, and intentionally make time for cycling, hiking, skiing, and other outdoor activities. Over the past year, these habits have allowed me to lose 30lbs, improve my sleep patterns, and balance the time spent working in front of my computer with physical activity. In my forties, I am going to maintain these routines so I can stay healthy.
Finances: I have always been pretty good with my money: paid my student loans off by 30, built up my savings by 35, graduated with my Master’s without going into debt. In the next five years, I want to build back up my savings again. More specifically - I will contribute the recommended 15% to my retirement account, I will contribute the yearly maximum into my Roth IRA, and I will maintain a secure amount in my savings. While I am not able to achieve all three steps this year, I believe that within three years, I will be in a position to and will maintain these benchmarks from then on (It’s the great thing about 5-year goals - time to journey toward achieving each goal).
Spirituality: I am looking forward to moving to and exploring the beauty of Vermont and New England, as a whole. One of the most meaningful ways I experience God is in and through creation - being in the great outdoors. I don’t think that it will be difficult at the start for me to intentionally seek God in the new wonders I’ll encounter. 5 years from now, I hope to continue to be intentional in seeking God in the waves on the lake, the smell of the woods, the light of the campfire, and the majesty of the mountain. To make this goal more concrete, I will plan to keep a journal - for writing, for drawing, for reflecting on my journey, and intentionally writing the story of this new adventure. I know God is with me and will be present in all that I do - I hope a journal will help me remain aware of the presence of the Sacred, the movement of the Spirit, and revealing of the Holy each and every day.
So - what are your goals?
I invite you to take a moment and reflect on one of the categories. Share a goal you will seek to achieve in the coming years in the comments below.